Recently, a few new writers have been introduced to the Laid With Cool staff.  In Issue 8, Ben Guyer conducted an interview with Richard Loyd. In the past, Ben has written some music, and poetry, and recently has submitted some writings to Tidal Wave Magazine.  Last month's issue [Issue 9] featured a "Pacifico" review written by Chad Johnston [my brother...].  Chad has written reviews for magazines like Shout!, True Tunes News, and Essential Connection. This month, writer Chris Flinchbaugh is introduced, writing "The Conquistador Connection."  Chris has  written for school newspapers at both Red Land High School and his current school Mechanicsburg Area High School.  He has also done music reviews for some local indie 'zines, and has written several songs. These writers are all working in addition to Jon Kortebein, who has been writing for the Laid With Cool consistently since it began 10 months ago.
  -alyssa johnston
 
 

THE CONQUISTADOR CONNECTION

It seems that all the "greats" of the bands have always had a sense of mystery to them, something of an intangible that made them great. If a bands mystery and romanticism has a bearing on their greatness, then the Lassie Foundation is destined to be one of the greatest of them all. One large piece of the tapestry around Lassie is that of the Conquistador and related folk lore. Much
of the CALIFORNIA EP's booklet refers to the great Conquistador Cortes and his quests (as I am sure you have noticed) and I believe even the latest Lassie t-shirt sports the Conquistador.
So what is it's relevance to Lassie? What is (if I may) the Conquistador Connection?

According to World Book Encyclopedia Conquistadors were "Spaniards who conquered Indian peoples in parts of Latin America mainly during the first half of the 1500's." The obvious relationship that you would gather is how Lassie is on a quest to conquer rock music, and they are of course. But it gets deeper and, as you can expect, more mysterious.

Eric states that the Conquistador was part of "one of the most significant events in man's social history and evolution", "their creation of whole new race of people". More specifically "the Mestizo, the mix of European blood and the Indigenous people of the Americas". Again I grasp at the first link that appears, that this relates to how Lassie is merging the sounds of dreamy euro-
pop bands with our native music to bring forth a new breed of music. But Eric replies to my over the edge theory, " we are only reinventing rock and roll".  Which I would say is a very big deal.

Then how does it all relate?
He explains, "We are surrounded by Mexican culture and there are some images that we identify with and carry with them romance, epicness, countless terms that we feel tell the story of the foundation. Although the images themselves may carry or connote different feelings for others."

In this they have overwhelmingly succeeded. Not only do the references and images hold the mentioned senses with them, but so does the music itself. All the feelings that you have while listening to the Foundation: the majestic sense that embodies "I Can Be Her Man", how the songs pull at your soul filling it with warmth and longing, and the epicness to every chorus and to
everything about the band. This is the seemingly intangible thing that makes the Lassie Foundation what it is and it's why we love their music.
 - Chris Flinchbaugh
 
 

Here are two more of the best contest entries from April's CUSH Conspiracy contest.

FROM: Joel Bennett
To: Whomever it may concern (that probably means you)
3/29/98 11:30pm Central Time

Dear Editors of Laid With Cool,

I have recently been informed that the editors of your newsletter have been inquiring into the meaning of CUSH.  I plead with you to just forget it.  If you ask that question, you may get answers you do not want to hear.  Trust me, I have uncovered the meaning of CUSH, and have
spent the last 25 years of my life in seclution.  I may have spelled that word wrong, but I'm sure you get the idea.  If you really want to know the answer to that question, keep reading at your own risk.  If you make the wise decision, you will delete this E-mail now, change your name, rip up your credit cards, take a bath, and light a penguin on fire.......
Still reading???.....
I don't smell burnt penguin yet.....
Ok, here goes......
        It all started a long time ago on a trip to Kansas in 1973.  One dark, dark night I was wondering through a corn field  (Don't ask me why, that is another story), when I heard the faint sound of whispering behind a tree.  I slowly crept closer, trying to overhear the conversation.
         As I crept closer I began to hear several voices saying something about Roswell air force base and the mother ship.  Suddenly, the oversized stuffed kangaroo I was carrying dropped from my hands, and made a large "Katioooie"-like noise.  A light shone my way, and I then realized I was standing face to face with a heard of dairy cows carrying flashlights and  Halibuts (that is a fish).  The cows began to run after me while shouting, angrily shouting "Moooooooooo!  Get him!  Moooooooo! He knows!  Moooooooo!"
        My oversized bell bottoms and platform shoes were not conducive for running, so soon the cows were on me.  They began beating me silly with their Halibuts (those are fishes) while shouting something like "Mooooo!"  The next morning I woke up in a Voltswaggon van to the faint sound of the Prayer Chain in the 8 track.  I smelt of fish....I like fish, but not Halibuts (that is a fish).
        Later that night I found a tattered note in my pocket.  It was from the cows.  I knew that because it said "From the cows" on the top.  In it, they revealed their plan to take over the world, liberate the cow population of earth, and enslave the human race in the year 2000. If I told anyone they would turn me into a newt.  The letter was signed, C.U.S.H.  (Cows Using Smelly Halibuts (that is a fish, but that wasn't in the letter, I added that so you would know what a Halibut is, and it is a fish...)).  Why they chose to tell me, I will never know.  But I needed to tell somebody before it was to late...
        Now that you know this important piece of information, I trust that you will use it for the good of mankind.  The cows are onto me.  Every time I pass by a farm I see them staring at me, slowly chewing their cud.  They don't blink.  They keep chanting, "Moooo, mooooo!"  I hear it in my sleep.  Please, carry on my quest before the world is utterly destroyed.  Everything is at stake.  Don't spoil my efforts.  Don't just skim this letter, or I'm creamed!
        I know it may seem fishy, but it's the truth!  Don't cast this aside!
Wait...I smell Halibut (that is a fish)......What is that I hear?  Mooo?  AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
 -Joel Bennet
 
 

Although most of us have been led to believe that CUSH is a band, what it actually is, is a theme park dedicated to the fans of the Lassie Foundation, Starflyer 59, and the Prayer Chain. The reason that it has been kept a secret so far, is because Wayne was enjoying having the park
to himself, and did not want his humble fans to learn of his newfound haven. The park features an enormous roller coaster called Sky High, a space simulator ride fondly dubbed The Voyager, and, of course, many arcade type games in which you must attempt to Save Yourself and Watch
You Win. rumor has it that if you dress like that girl in the liner notes of _California_, you can get in at a discount price... I think you may have realized by now that Jason Martin is not really a truck driver for his second job, he is the mastermind behind CUSH, which is set to be open
to the general public any day now. Jason's incredible work has already gotten Disneyland more than a little worried, even more worried than when Frank Lenz left his job playing drums in their parades and joined up with Fold Zandura (Disney released the Lion King at that time in order to
compensate for the loss... who knows what they will do this time, especially since Frank has offered to play in the CUSH extravaganza parade that's Walking Spinning Backing Free along The Boulevard). I would beware of the haunted house entitled The Dungeon, where all the old
ghosts will let you know just how far gone you are... The horror gallery is made even more terrifying by its soundtrack of [gasp] Michael W. Smith songs. Well, enough information has been divulged to your hungry ears, so I must refrain from even mentioning the extensive gift shop where you can buy anything from Eric Campuzano masks to those beautiful shoes Jason
Martin always seems to be gazing at...

-Melissa Konieczko
 
 

LASSIE REVEALS

 I read that you played bass at a show with MIKE KNOTT...
 Did you enjoy it and is this going to be a permanent thing or what?
 -rod
 (zenor1@spartanburg.net)

Eric-- Andrew Prickett and myself played with Mike Knott as well as doing a demo with him.  The status of the group is somewhat ad hoc, Mike calls us when he's doing a show and we show up and play.  So one day he may not call me or Andy, and that would be the end of that.  We both enjoy playing with Mike, and hope that it continues.

Eric, why play with a pick?  that happens to be a personal pet peeve of  mine...I play bass myself...and...well...don't like  it...(personally)...but...you know...you being like the best bass player  in the whole wide world and all...
  -Shane hall
 (shiverfreak@hotmail.com)
 

Eric--I play with a pick when it demands it.  I personally prefer the sound of the pick because I believe that it drives the music more, and it's easier for me to play chords with a pick than without one.  Some songs in the Prayer Chain I played with my fingers and in Mike Knott's band I play about half and half.  I play how the song demands to be played, and not on the basis of preference.
 
 

Lassie Foundation will be live in concert July 15, @ The Council/The Glasshouse, in Pomona, California, all ages, starts @ 8 pm. $5 at the door.  For more information call 626.914.9944
 
 

Links

Havalina Rail Co. Website    http://www.havalina.home.ml.org

The Redcrown Republic    http://327.com/redcrown

Three Twenty-Seven     http://www.327.com/
 
 

send any comments to: johnston@rollanet.org
send any questions for the band w/ a subject of "QUESTIONS"
send any links with a site explanation and a subject of "LINKS"
 
 

Thanks to: Jon Kortebein, Scott Patterson, Chris Flinchbaugh, and the Lassie Foundation!